Monday, 12/17/12

I'm finding it hard to find the appropriate place to begin tonight. I had a long string of thoughts written before I left school but they didn't feel right to publish, so I packed up my computer and brought it home. Here I am starting all over. As a teacher, any time there is a tragic event such as this, I am forced to break out of my bubble, face reality and put myself into the teachers' shoes. This time, of course, while similar to those of the past, was completely different. This time----I didn't have to put myself in their shoes, those teachers were me. They went to a beautiful elementary school every day. They laughed and loved with their students while watching them grow and blossom each day. They experienced every emotion in the book on any given day, from joy to pride to frustration to heartache, but they wouldn't dream of being anywhere else in the world but alongside their kids for one year of their precious lives. They knew it was a gift they were given. They knew it was privilege. And they knew there was nothing on this earth that they would not do for those dear little children. On Friday, there was nothing that they did not do. Those teachers and staff members were tested by evil and their instincts and love took over. They shielded, protected and managed bravery in the most frightening of all circumstances. I am proud to count myself in their company, and I will pray for and to them every single day. I will ask for their guidance, and I will teach in their honor. Time will pass and the utter pain from Friday will lessen, but God willing, I will carry the teachers from Newtown, Connecticut in my heart and carry out that which I now know I have in common with them, the visceral instinct to do everything possible to shield, love and protect my kids. Rest in peace 26 beautiful souls and with patience, find peace and calm town of Newtown, CT. <3